Everyday Woo (Volume 9)
Calling out toxic positivity and calling in change. Plus, a way to use the major arcana in tarot as a tool for self-reflection.
Everyday Woo is a place for the woo curious to learn a little more about tarot and spirituality in a not-too-serious way. Here’s what I’m thinking about this week…
✨ The Only Detox We Need: Moving Away From Toxic Positivity in Spiritual Spaces
It’s the week of Thanksgiving. Which can only mean one thing.
We’re kinda sorta obsessed with being thankful in our society. I mean, the word ‘grateful’ goes on everything from journal covers to kitchen walls (which feels like an ominous warning against complaining about the cooking). Feeling kinda down today? Name three things you’re grateful for! Your period started? PMS stands for Practice More Satisfaction. Your job sucks? Give thanks. OR ELSE.
Don’t get me wrong. Being thankful and celebrating the good in life isn’t a bad thing. I think we can all agree that gratitude has its place and can be extremely helpful. But in excess and without nuance, it becomes a little, well, grating.
Case in point: last week, I wrote the following post on my Facebook page:
When I wrote that, I was decidedly not practicing gratitude. But my reality was that I was burnt out. Tired. Frustrated. And most of all, I was irritated at the same pat phrases I heard directed at educators over and over again:
“You’re making a difference!”
“Focus on the good things!”
“Stay strong--the kids need you!”
While well-meaning, these rah-rah, think positive sentiments went over like a lead balloon with me. Even though I’ve heard this brand of forced cheer before in my 11 years in education, it feels particularly tone-deaf and downright rude in light of what we’re dealing with in the classroom.
Ah, toxic positivity. The ugly side of the smiley face we plaster on shitty situations.
Toxic positivity is attractive. It’s neat and easily packaged into empowering one-liners for folks to repeat ad nauseum, under the guise that it’ll make things better. And it’s not a problem exclusive to education. There’s a LOT of that forced grin energy in spiritual spaces on ye olde Internet.
I’ve written before about how manifestation language (which the online woo world LOVES) can trend towards blaming folks and their mindset for their less-than-ideal circumstances that are due to systemic failures. But thankfully (see, there’s that gratitude!), I’m seeing more people in the spiritual community acknowledge the harmful impact of toxic positivity in response to viral news stories that highlight these inequities.
When Rittenhouse was acquitted last week on all counts after shooting and killing two people, my social media feeds were flooded with posts from big voices in the spiritual community expressing disgust with the verdict’s apparent bias towards white people. These reshares and posts made their stance known about the outcome, which is a step in the right direction. More content creators are recognizing that public platforms are inherently political, so opting out due to “keeping things uplifting” for the feed sends a pretty strong message of toxic positivity.
But this is where most people stop. It’s really easy to share a post someone else made and throw on a few sentences of your own about disappointment as a tangible way to say, “see? I said something. I did my part.” It’s the equivalent of telling people about a donation bucket for a charity and pretending like you helped fund it, even when you didn’t put in any money of your own. If you truly want to make a difference, it’s time to level up and to put your money where your mouth is.
My call to action for fellow intuitives and folks who are working on their own spiritual growth is to not stop at simply calling out inequities in our society when they go viral. Honestly, most of those reshares are motivated by our own ego and wanting to “do the right thing,” as opposed to seeing the harder truth: how we might be contributing to these harmful patterns.
And that means we have to do some soul-searching about where we are in our own journey of becoming someone who actively fights back against injustice as part of becoming the truest, highest version of ourselves.
So, join me in a quick self-audit. Where are you in your “dismantling toxic positivity” journey?
Phase 1: Yay! Everything is fine...your thoughts become your reality, so even if things seem hard, you just have to stay positive. :)
What it looks like: You’re ignoring the lived realities of people who are struggling with survival. It casts blame on them for circumstances that are due to systemic failures, and it also is an avoidance tactic: if it’s painful, it’s tempting to smile it all away. But it’s ultimately super harmful, especially when this positivity cannon is aimed at someone who is victimized by societal inequities. It invalidates and undermines. Kind of the opposite effect of what we’d want.
What to do: Educate yourself on the harm of toxic positivity. Hard stop. Do not pass Go. Good starting points can be found here, here and here.
Phase 2: Ugh, this bad thing about our society is showing up in the public consciousness lately, and I am naming it and calling it out!
What it looks like: You’re taking the first step by acknowledging the elephant in the room. Even if it’s a very loud and noisy elephant that seems to be on every news station, there are still folks who take the Ostrich Approach and ignore harsh truths completely. Speaking up probably feels a tad uncomfortable for you. It is a step of vulnerability to take a stance, but the more you do it, the more natural it will feel. It will become an extension of who you are as a person who is interested in living their highest truth.
What to do: Keep exercising this “call out” muscle and start to see how trending social injustice topics relate to you. Force yourself not to opt out and say that it isn’t important because it doesn’t impact your personal spiritual journey. Newsflash: things don’t have to directly impact you in order for you to care about them. Don’t let your quest for your personal purpose give you tunnel vision.
Don’t forget to interrogate your motivation for sharing. Are you adding to the noise, or would your energy be better spent moving on to something more actionable?
Phase 3: I’m naming the bad thing about our society, and here’s how I may be inadvertently be contributing to it with my practice.
What it looks like: okay, this is the real shit. And it can get messy, and I’ll be the first to say that what you discover isn’t necessarily something you want to immediately post about and share with your audience. This requires some serious internal work and a thorough, unbiased audit of your habits and underlying messages you might be sending.
What to do: This is a good time to check out who you’re following on social media in the spiritual world. The pretty Instagram posts about manifesting your dreams are fine, but if that’s all you’re seeing every day, seek out creators who are having nuanced conversations…especially those who don’t look and live like you. This is key. If we enclose ourselves in an echochamber, we risk ending right back in toxic positivity territory land. A few of my favorite follows are Christine over at the Zen Wellness Mama, the creators of Mystic Baby, and Alexis from the Saged Muse. I’m always looking for more, so tell me a few you love!
And if you’re a creator, do a deep dive into your posts. Grab a journal and jot down some themes that you’re noticing. What topics are you addressing? What messages are you sending? Is your content supporting people holistically? Answer honestly. This will prepare you for the next phase.
Phase 4: Here’s how the systemic failure impacts my practice AND what I am actively doing to change it
What it looks like: this work never ends, friends. It’s a constant cycle of evaluating, changing, and then evaluating again, changing again...we have to continually adjust because our world is always shifting. But this is when you’re making tangible moves towards correcting some areas that perpetuate harmful ideas.
What to do:
Use your platform to amplify the words of other people who are sharing a new perspective, especially the voices of people who live differently than you.
Educate yourself around the origins of spiritual practices and pay homage to those who shared their knowledge.
Look at how some spiritual tropes, such as the binary of black and white magic, have roots in colonization and need to be reimagined (read this powerful article).
Acknowledge your privilege regularly: the ability to even slightly focus on a spiritual journey is a sign of privilege. Check out this article on spiritual narcissism.
If you’re a spiritual practitioner, consider who is benefiting from your guidance…and what people groups aren’t showing up or represented in your audience. We’re not meant to be for everybody, but too narrow of an audience may indicate that your viewpoint is simply too narrow and not inclusive. Create new content to reflect these changes, and don’t be afraid to call yourself out for past iterations of ideas. Showing how you’ve evolved is a wonderful act of transparency and authenticity.
This work is cyclical. Sort of like the Fool’s journey in the major arcana of the tarot, we may be in phase 3 one day and accidentally find ourselves slipping back into phase 1 the next. That’s just part of it. Perfection isn’t the goal, but progress is. We must stay vigilant and regularly engage in this self-auditing practice.
I think detoxing is bullshit, but this is one time where it feels appropriate to tell you to do just that: remove that toxic positivity and replace it with the type of enlightenment that helps, not harms.
✨ Major Themes in the Major Arcana
My number one tip for people who are just dabbling in tarot is to keep it simple: work with the major arcana first, and start by drawing one card per day.
Developing your own intuitive interpretations of the cards will come eventually, but establishing a regular practice and connecting with the cards consistently must come first. It’s the foundation that you can build off of as a reader, whether you choose to keep your practice personal or share it with others.
When I first started reading tarot for myself, I felt simultaneously under and overwhelmed by the little booklet of definitions that came with my Smith Rider Waite deck. I struggled to connect with some cards, and others left me pretty confused.
Accessibility is big for me, so I decided to work on making part of the deck more user friendly and applicable. Since the major arcana deals with personal transformations, I decided to condense each of the 22 cards into short, sweet “I am” statements that you can apply to your life.
And if you don’t own a deck? I like using this site that pairs with the Light Seer’s Tarot deck. It won’t always give you a major arcana card, but if you click enough times, it will. :)
When you receive your card, before peeking at the “I am” phrase, see what comes up for you first. Then, check it out for some ways to shape your interpretation. Sometimes, the statements might feel realllll on the nose. Like uncomfortably so. Other times, they may not resonate right away. But I like this exercise because it does help you start to practice connecting the cards to your life.
Let me know if you try it!
Mantra for the week: I connect with those I love and myself in authentic ways.
I’m taking a break next week so that I can truly enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday with my family—I’m heading to South Carolina and am looking forward to hanging out with my nieces and spending time with my folks.
See you back here in December!
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