Oh so much to say. First, on the devil card I hadn’t thought about the torch that way, so thank you for that. Regarding the chains, the person who first taught me about this card said look at how loose the chains hang around their neck. They could remove the chains at any point in time. So I have always seen the devil card as pointing towards my own beliefs and where my beliefs are holding me hostage.
Regarding reconnecting body, phew, this summer my body has made it abundantly clear that this needs to happen and it needs to happen now. I actually was laying here today trying to connect to my body and my inner healer. Trying to befriend them and understand what they’re trying to tell me with the health challenges I continue to have. I too long ago became an enemy of my body and it’s been a long journey to try to come back.
I have also heard that said about the chains, which I find to be quite empowering and also a little distressing--though I acknowledge the "looseness" of these chains, it's the lifting of the arms that I find to be difficult. I try to be gentle with myself when I can't seem to make it happen, kind of like how I feel about my complex and challenging relationship with my body.
I'm right there with you about the idea of befriending my body. She feels kinda standoffish to me right now, and I don't blame her--I've put her through a lot. Hoping that we can both find peace and friendship with our homes.
I had an experience yesterday with a chiropractor I went to for acupuncture where I wish I had screamed "NO" and "STOP" - but I didn't. It didn't even come to my mind in the moment. After I felt the violation of my body being forced through something that wasn't right for it. After I felt the scream rise up in my body and I let myself scream it even though it was after the fact. I let myself feel the anger and the power and the LOVE behind screaming "NO" and "STOP". So when you say the body is a little standoffish and you don't blame her I totally relate. (Later I went and posted a 1 star review on Google, which I never do but I needed to say publicly that this had been SO WRONG. I ended up bruised and feeling much worse than when I went in.)
Still working on accepting my body but I’m better than where I started….
I can’t remember what podcast I was listening too but it was about body positivity. And they said start following women on social media who look like you.
I quickly started to realize women my shape and size are also beautiful.
Then I started following women who think like me and inspired me. Instead of just following thin women who are dieting.
This was such an interesting read. As someone who has almost always been overweight or obese (or at least thought so even when I was much smaller in my early twenties), I've been working at feeling comfortable in my body a lot after turning 40 at the end of last year and feeling connected to it, versus my focus on my brain and like my body is an afterthought I ignore. I always thought if I was your current size, which to me looks perfect, that I would be happy with my body and everything in life would be fine. I've learned over the past few years from friends that I think are gorgeous that it isn't as easy as that. Our minds and society sure make this hard. I have a lot to think about for this and a lot more work to do. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks for reading, Amanda. You’re right--it is so hard to simply love my shape without questioning it. I want to experience things with my body, not in spite of it. I’m working on it too. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Phew, this really hit. I stopped dieting almost a year ago, which has been incredibly freeing and also a consistent struggle. I was fed up with diet culture and working on developing and trusting my intuition, and this felt like a natural next step. Trusting myself to make small decisions, like what to eat for breakfast, felt like a signal to my body that I was willing to listen and partner with her again. My body still doesn't feel like home; I'm getting to know her all over again. I have lots of hard body image days, and some days where I don't think about it at all. It's not easy, but I try to remind myself that we (my body and I) are doing the best we can. We made it through a global pandemic and lots of other hard things, and for that I'm grateful.
I agree with the idea of trust, which really is at the root with my struggles with my body. I guess I don't trust myself or my body, and I definitely don't trust the partnership between the two. So difficult to admit, but you're right--we are doing our best. Working on it.
Oh so much to say. First, on the devil card I hadn’t thought about the torch that way, so thank you for that. Regarding the chains, the person who first taught me about this card said look at how loose the chains hang around their neck. They could remove the chains at any point in time. So I have always seen the devil card as pointing towards my own beliefs and where my beliefs are holding me hostage.
Regarding reconnecting body, phew, this summer my body has made it abundantly clear that this needs to happen and it needs to happen now. I actually was laying here today trying to connect to my body and my inner healer. Trying to befriend them and understand what they’re trying to tell me with the health challenges I continue to have. I too long ago became an enemy of my body and it’s been a long journey to try to come back.
I have also heard that said about the chains, which I find to be quite empowering and also a little distressing--though I acknowledge the "looseness" of these chains, it's the lifting of the arms that I find to be difficult. I try to be gentle with myself when I can't seem to make it happen, kind of like how I feel about my complex and challenging relationship with my body.
I'm right there with you about the idea of befriending my body. She feels kinda standoffish to me right now, and I don't blame her--I've put her through a lot. Hoping that we can both find peace and friendship with our homes.
I had an experience yesterday with a chiropractor I went to for acupuncture where I wish I had screamed "NO" and "STOP" - but I didn't. It didn't even come to my mind in the moment. After I felt the violation of my body being forced through something that wasn't right for it. After I felt the scream rise up in my body and I let myself scream it even though it was after the fact. I let myself feel the anger and the power and the LOVE behind screaming "NO" and "STOP". So when you say the body is a little standoffish and you don't blame her I totally relate. (Later I went and posted a 1 star review on Google, which I never do but I needed to say publicly that this had been SO WRONG. I ended up bruised and feeling much worse than when I went in.)
Still working on accepting my body but I’m better than where I started….
I can’t remember what podcast I was listening too but it was about body positivity. And they said start following women on social media who look like you.
I quickly started to realize women my shape and size are also beautiful.
Then I started following women who think like me and inspired me. Instead of just following thin women who are dieting.
This was such an interesting read. As someone who has almost always been overweight or obese (or at least thought so even when I was much smaller in my early twenties), I've been working at feeling comfortable in my body a lot after turning 40 at the end of last year and feeling connected to it, versus my focus on my brain and like my body is an afterthought I ignore. I always thought if I was your current size, which to me looks perfect, that I would be happy with my body and everything in life would be fine. I've learned over the past few years from friends that I think are gorgeous that it isn't as easy as that. Our minds and society sure make this hard. I have a lot to think about for this and a lot more work to do. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks for reading, Amanda. You’re right--it is so hard to simply love my shape without questioning it. I want to experience things with my body, not in spite of it. I’m working on it too. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Wow. Felt this. I'm in a similar current of life. It feels good to be seen. Thanks for sharing. ♥️
Phew, this really hit. I stopped dieting almost a year ago, which has been incredibly freeing and also a consistent struggle. I was fed up with diet culture and working on developing and trusting my intuition, and this felt like a natural next step. Trusting myself to make small decisions, like what to eat for breakfast, felt like a signal to my body that I was willing to listen and partner with her again. My body still doesn't feel like home; I'm getting to know her all over again. I have lots of hard body image days, and some days where I don't think about it at all. It's not easy, but I try to remind myself that we (my body and I) are doing the best we can. We made it through a global pandemic and lots of other hard things, and for that I'm grateful.
I agree with the idea of trust, which really is at the root with my struggles with my body. I guess I don't trust myself or my body, and I definitely don't trust the partnership between the two. So difficult to admit, but you're right--we are doing our best. Working on it.